Renn Faire Privateer Gone Mom.

Friday, May 31, 2013

Mud Runs and Mom Proms

For Mother's Day, I get family pictures and some random thing that hubby heard me say I'd like or need.  Usually, it's not something for ME, but for the house/family in general.  I don't mind, because he doesn't do random standby stuff, but occasionally I'd like something that's sole purpose was to make me happy.

This Mother's Day, I got it.  It was a week late, but I'm not one to be picky.

My Tacoma bestie and I signed up for the Dirty Girl Mud Run in Seattle, WA, and another friend of mine joined us at 8 a.m. to climb shit, crawl through freezing pools of rocky muck, and get dirt in our underwear.

I have seriously never had so much fun, EVER.
There was a big pool of muddy water at the bottom of this slide.  Enema, anyone?

We finished!

Jessie, moi, and Saranda (who, by the way, was the FIRST to finish.  Beastly.).

Think I don't look too dirty?  LOOK AT MY SHOES (which I donated, mostly because I'm lazy and didn't want to clean them)!

We rinsed off in COLD water, hung out, ate a LOT of food (well, I ate a lot of food), then Jessie and I headed off to our cheapo motel in Seattle to shower and nap before our ladies night!

Look at how nicely we clean up.
We had dinner at Terra Plata and it was DIVINE.  If you are ever in Seattle and need a nice place to nom, check. it. out.

After I snarfed down ate my dinner with decorum befitting of a lady, we trudged out way up the hill to our parking spot (in our heels, because we're smart like that- LET'S WEAR HIGH HEELS IN SEATTLE!) and headed to meet some more friends at the:

Mom Prom!
"The Ultimate Ladies Night Out"

Silent auction, awesome DJ, tables full of 80s goodies, and CANDY everywhere!  We didn't have to share it with any kids!  Caaaaannnnddddyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Oh, and booze.  I only side note that because, well, you know, the pregnant thing (I did indulge in a mimosa though).

This was pre-booze.  Who knows how to party?  A bunch of moms.
We danced until almost midnight.  Sans shoes, of course.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

A Letter to my Best Friend

My Dearest, Most Cherished Friend,

Life is just not fair.

The hardworking barely scrape by.

The giving are taken advantage of.

The loving are demeaned.

The free spirited are scoffed at.

The things we want most are sometimes out of our reach.  Maybe only for a time, brief or extended, maybe forever... 

I wish you these things.  Your heart's desires.

I wish I could take away the pain you feel.  I wish I could make your dreams happen.

I wish you the world.  

But, most of all, I wish you peace.

I have felt that despair.  

I have felt that sadness.

That jealousy.

That righteous fury.

I have felt the keen sting that is watching someone who doesn't want what you want, getting it anyway.

I have died inside, watching those who don't want it, literally throw it away.

I have gone through the agonizing stages of waiting.

Countless others have felt these things as well.

You are not alone.

You are justified.

Your feelings, your desires, your dreams... they matter.  

They are not less.


 But if it takes both of our bodies to make your dreams happen, just say the word.

Monday, May 27, 2013

Just Be - About Me, the Color Purple, and Why I Won't Tone It Down Anymore

I will be 27 in a few weeks. I know it's just a drop in the bucket compared to some, and to others it seems like the best years of my life have passed me by.  But there is just one thing that is becoming ever-more clear to me as I get older, experience new things, and raise my children: People never expect you to show your true colors right off the bat. When we, as adults, meet other adults, we tread lightly, carefully, taking pains not to say or share something about ourselves that might scare this potential new addition to our lives away.

I'm not interested in playing that game anymore. 

Ideally, my introduction would go like this:

"Hi, my name is Jessica.  I believe in reproductive rights, gender equality, better gun control, and freedom from religious persecution.  I should also mention that I'm Pagan and feel that our actions here on Earth should speak for themselves, not for a promise of fulfillment in an afterlife.  I am pro-birthing education, support public breastfeeding, I teach my kids the proper names for their penises and vaginas, and I let them climb, scream, and make their own mistakes, as kids are wont to do.  You should also know that I am fiercely opposed to GMOs and biotech in our food and beauty products and plan on creating a homestead where I will grow my own produce, raise my own chickens, and milk my own goats.  Oh, and I am very much into having a healthy, active lifestyle.  I prefer Crossfit and running to most other forms of exercise.  Can we be friends now?"

I will not hide the parts that make me unique just to be shunned once they come to light.

I will not apologize for my beliefs, nor will I expect anyone I meet to apologize for theirs, just because they aren't the same.

Why the heck is she going on this defensive rant?! you may find yourself asking (if you weren't, I'm going to tell you anyway).

Memories, for one.  I remember how hard I used to try to fit in, even though there will never be a better mold to fit into than my own.  There will never be a color to match me better than the one I radiate.  I wish I had known quite some time ago how true it is that attempting to be like anyone or everyone else is just a horrible, painful waste of time.

Recent happenings, for another.  As my kids get older I'm meeting more people.  As my interests expand, I am encountering others that have similar ideas to mine.  But, once the other shades of who I am are introduced to these people, I am cast aside.  I don't have time for people who are only interested in me if my shade matches theirs.

I've started thinking of myself along the same lines as the color purple.  Made up of blue and red, but with touches of yellows, blacks, and whites to get the various shades.  Sometimes, colors like orange and green clash with it, because they're on opposite sides of the wheel from purple.  But, other times, the colors that they share, blue in the greens, and red in the oranges, allow them all to compliment each other very, very nicely. 

I will never stop encountering oranges and greens.  In truth, I would never want to stop.  I will never stop looking for the similarities that make us compliment one another, so that we can enjoy each others' proximity and what each shade brings to the table of our relationship.  But, I will stop expecting others to look past the spaces between us on the wheel to see that we share a base color in common, and I will stop hiding the colors that make up who I am. (And I'll continue to be fascinated by yellow.  Seriously, what planet did it even come from?  How can it even exist on THAT side of the wheel?!  I must know everything about it!!!)

There are no lines that define when blue becomes purple.  Why should we draw those lines between ourselves as people?

What color do you identify with?

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Kraken maternity tee- Bleach design tutorial

There's a saying that Necessity is the father of invention.  I say, being unique makes inventing a necessity.

I've never fit into a specific scene with my tastes in anything.  I love pop culture, nerd culture, rock culture, hippy culture... music, clothes, food, lifestyle... all sort of mesh into a web of seemingly random, eclectic preferences.  

That's not to say I like everything.  I am actually very picky about the different things from different scenes that I enjoy.  So being a 20 something mom is hard.  Because I want to incorporate this small piece of that, with a dash of this, and a glob of that-thing-over-there into my personal and parenting style, but there's NOTHING OUT THERE.

It's become easier with the popularity of pirates, but they're slowly being elbowed out by things that I don't like, so I don't pay attention.  Most pirate things for women and girls are pink and/or insanely sparkly, which I don't mind in moderation, but I'd like to go out in public without making someone want to vomit rainbows.

So I've had to get crafty.  Which usually I am totally okay with.  Sometimes though, it's just a pain.  Why can't there be a designer out there that has a direct plug into my brain that makes the things I want, for a decent price?!  Anyway...  

If you follow me, you know that Baby #4 has been dubbed The Kraken.  The few maternity sites I have found that carry alternative style clothes are ridiculously expensive.

So, as stated before, necessity and invention. 

I needed a unique t-shirt for this pregnancy.  I don't have $60 to spend on said t-shirt.  Hellooooooo, Pinterest!  

I've seen dozens of bleach tutorials.  A lot of them say to use a spray bottle, make your own bleach pen, use parchment paper to put your design on and iron it to the shirt so the bleach doesn't bleed underneath.  I'm a rebel lazy, so I chose to skip a majority of the recommendations.

I got my t-shirt, got my bleach, a small glass jar, a new paintbrush, cardboard, tape and a piece of paper.  Sketched out my design, cut it out, and taped it to the t-shirt, which I put the piece of cardboard in to avoid bleeding through the back.  Painted around the edges of my design with the bleach then flicked it around a few times for some 'bubble' spots, and voila!!

One of the tutorials I've browsed mentioned that different black shirts will bleach to different colors!  Not sure how to tell the difference, but don't be surprised if your shirt comes out a color other than orange.
At the moment the shirt is in a gentle wash cycle with a touch of homemade laundry detergent to get any extra bleach out before it eats a hole in the shirt fibers (I took that pic while the shirt was still bleach damp, and now I smell like a sparkly bathroom!).

I am incredibly happy with the way it turned out (will update if the wash changes anything) and fully intend to raid my local thrift store for more plain maternity tees to play with!  I'm also thinking the baby needs a custom Kraken onesie, so keep an eye out for that post, too!

Have you done any bleach products?  I'd love to see/hear about them!