Renn Faire Privateer Gone Mom.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

SURPRISE! Women like sex, too.

I'm going to talk about some pretty adult stuff right now.  If you aren't interested in hearing that women have sexual desires, too, then go read something else.

Brutal, open honesty here.  It may be rambling, as I have so many things clamoring to be voiced that I can't really keep track of them, so I hope you bear with me.

You see, women have this thing called a clitoris.  And it makes sex pleasurable.  Some women have high amounts of hormones that make them want sex more often.  Some have low levels of hormones, which equates to a low sex drive.  Regardless of how much sex we crave, we still crave it.  I am speaking to you as a woman with a pretty high sex drive, who gets turned down by her husband often enough for it to matter.

But you know what?  No one talks about a woman's needs.  The phrase that 'a man has needs' gets thrown around so often, as an excuse for sleeping around, excessive masturbation, and porn addictions.  Within the rape culture we're currently faced with, this is the premise for so many violations of too many victims.  How many times have we heard about a woman claiming that her primal needs were the cause of her inappropriate actions?  Every once in a while we hear of a teacher having inappropriate relationships with her students and I can only recall 1 violent woman-on-woman rape being discussed on the news in my adult life.

When you're hungry, does your body involuntarily find and consume food?  When you have to pee, does your body get up on its own to find an appropriate facility?  Your body gives you signals for what it needs and you make a conscious decision to fulfill those needs.

Making a conscious decision to use another person, against their will, for your sexual urges is inexcusable.

But, "Men get turned on easier than women."  Puh-leeze.  You know what feels good for women?  Vibrations.  You know what vibrates?  A car engine.  Sit in the car with your jeans hiked up against your crotch and see how long it takes before you're ready to go home and take care of that urge.  Multiply that by however many times a day you're driving somewhere, and you've got a primal need to be fulfilled.  Bicycles?  Same problem.  Accidentally bumping into something at crotch height, or having something brush your nipples while wearing a thin, or no, bra.  The sight of a man (or woman, if that's your preference) in shape, or with specific features that we find attractive.  A man who smells nice.  A man who gives us just enough attention to make us feel special.  All things that turn the key to get that motor running.

You know what we do though?  We make a conscious decision whether to act on those desires or not, Just. Like. Men.  But we don't get credit for it, because we don't have a penis.  That second 'brain' men are endowed with that somehow allows their actions to become excusable?  We don't get that.  If a woman chooses to go home and masturbate instead of having an affair with that co-worker that's making passes at her, well, it's easy for her, she's a woman.  If a woman's partner isn't interested in having sex and she decides to just wait until they are, well, that's just fine for her, she's not a man.

Having an extra appendage does not impair judgement.  That is proven by the many good men who do respect boundaries.  Being turned on makes decision making different, to be sure, but not difficult.  

The differences in our sexes don't make any of us less human.  We all deserve respect as a people, not a gender.

But, I don't have a penis, so what do I know?


  1. This ridiculous double standard of men as insatiable manbeasts who can't control their actions and shouldn't be held responsible for them because it's women's job to civilize them and remove any temptation from them, while at the same time holding women as second-class citizens who are supposed to be subservient to men since men are stronger/more intelligent/more capable/etc. than women, has absolutely got to go. It's not doing a service to either side.

    1. Agreed. Imo, it's as much of an education issue as sex. Oh, teenage boy, you're going through puberty? Here, have a Playboy, or visit this website that objectifies women for your pleasure. That needs to change. Let's try discussing the changes their body is going through and appropriate ways for them to handle it and the way it will change their relationships. I've always hated the sex culture in America, and now looking at what my kids have to grow up with, I am terrified.

  2. I love this! Your frankness is awesome. I get turned down by my hubs more so than the other way round. We're not that cliche couple that the outside world is always banging on about. And I would never think to run out and get some because I'm horny and my hubs is not around or working too hard... I don't feel neglected. Not when I've got my BOB around ;)

    1. Thanks Josie! It's amazing how many women desire more sex than their partners once you get talking about it. Glad you stopped by!