Too many candles, too many prayers.

I can't get away from myself.  What do you do with yourself when you want to gather too many tragically lost souls into yourself and give them one last burst of love and joy?  I will hold my children tight.  I will cry tears of joy that my beautiful daughter is still around to dance at her ballet recital tonight.  

And I will beg people to stop pointing fingers.

There are so many things we CAN NOT understand about the tragedy that occurred in Connecticut today:  We can not understand the grief of these families.  We can not understand the terror of the children and faculty.  We can not understand what the motives of this young man were.  We can not understand why anyone would feel the need to take out their issues on a group of young innocents.

With so little understanding, how are so many people screaming about what needs to be fixed?

Take away guns.  Why?  So that we can have a civil war?  So that the ONLY people with firearms are the ones who obtain them illegally, for nefarious purposes?

It's Obama's fault.  Really?  Just like it's your parents' fault you broke their household rules and got into trouble as a teen?  They 'allowed' it to happen?

It's the parents' fault.  Well, the parents are, as of now, apparently dead.  Happy?  Is that justice for you?

WHY DOES IT MATTER?!  We want someone to pin the blame on, to make it easier to focus our grief and outrage, but you know what that does?  It perpetuates the cycle.  It fuels the fires of hate, discrimination (how many people have called out this man's learning disabilities, asking how a 'retard got hold of a gun in the first place'?), and paves the path for more people to be hurt, all in view of the public eye.

Things need to change.  Yes, gun reform is on everyone's lips, and that is something that needs to be addressed before another tragedy like this strikes.  Yes, help for mentally disabled needs to be made easier to access for people and families that need it.  

But most importantly, we need to love.  Love yourself.  Love your family.  Love your neighbor.  Love your playgroup, church, or school.  Love your town, county, state.  Your country.  Love your fellow human beings as you would love your children.  Love them like it is the only chance we have of redemption, because it just might be.  ONE PERSON'S LOVE may have been the redemption of this sad man, those amazing teachers, and those poor, poor children.

I'd like to share something my friend said that inspired this post:

We no longer value each other. We value our hollow interactions and ourselves more than other things. We have traded our compassion for iphones, and our friends and neighbors for luxury cars. America has lost its true sense of community and the feeling of responsibility that should go with what is right. I am hurt in the deepest parts of my self today over the tragedy in Conn. We need to stop talking about being better to each other and actually start being better to each other. Practice mindfulness of your friends, family, and even strangers. Be the spark of love wherever you're at... That is the only thing that will change the world. Be well today. And remember the lost.

I lit too many candles today my friends.  I am saying far too many prayers.  But I will light another candle, and say one more prayer, that we can all show someone that we love them and be that spark.