Renn Faire Privateer Gone Mom.
Showing posts with label kids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kids. Show all posts

Monday, July 8, 2013

A Week of One


This week Cabin Girl and Cabin Boy #1 are staying with family across the state, so it's just Cabin Boy #2 with the Captain and I.

Just CB2.  

It is so weird.  

It's quiet.  It's less messy.  It's more manageable.  

And my awesome brain decided a while ago that, during this week, I would get shit done.

But, I'm vetoing that decision now that we're here.

Because CB2 has never had the one-on-one time his siblings had.  CG was an only child for over 3 years.  CB1 had solo time with me for 2 years while CG was in preschool a few hours most of the week.

 
So this week, I am devoting myself to focusing on this one child.

Listening to this one pair of feet pitter-patter.

Feeding this one demanding mouth.

Snuggling this one warm body.

Playing with this one curious mind.

Burbling this one soft belly.


Naptimes and bedtimes have been rough already.  He doesn't know what to think about big brother not being in the room with him at night.  And there have been a few times he's asked for sissy, not quite understanding what I mean when I say she's not here.


For now though, he's enjoying the choice movie spot on the couch, without having to fight for it.



Friday, June 28, 2013

So THIS is what guilt-free parenting feels like.

Have you guys seen the Orange Rhino Challenge?  In a nutshell, it's a challenge to stop yelling at your kids. 

*eyeroll*  Right?  How can you be a parent and not yell?  That's what parents DO.  It's like, 90% of the job description.

Isn't it?

Here's the thing: I'm a yeller.  My family of orientation has some anger management issues that were blissfully passed on to me.  The Captain, though much better than me most of the time, feeds off of my stress, so when I yell, he yells, too.  The kicker?  We never yell at each other the way we yell at the kids.  I would never, in a million years, use it as an acceptable form of communication with him, and he is usually so even keeled that I doubt he'd yell at me if I stuck a fork in his hand (okay, that may be an exaggeration, but you get the idea).

How is it okay to speak to our kids in a way that we would never dream of using with our partner?

We've made excuses for a long time.  "They just don't listen... I ask nicely 1,000 times and it's only when I yell that we get results... We do it to keep them safe... We can't communicate as effectively with them and we get frustrated."  I think most parents would think these are all viable excuses.  BUT THEY ARE NOT GOOD REASONS.

Since becoming parents of multiple children, our stress and anxiety levels have increased.  Now, we're about to add a 4th into our barely contained mass of chaos, and I've been thinking.  I've been thinking a lot.

About how I hate the way I feel when I tuck the kids in with tears on their faces, because I had to yell at them to just go to bed.  How I hate myself, because I should be doing better than this.  They deserve better than this.

About how I want to do better, and feeling guilty because I. Just. Can't.

So, upon my frequent blog hopping, I came across another Orange Rhino post.  This time, though, instead of passing it off as a wishy-washy idea, I read about it.  And I read some more.

I mentioned it to the Captain, and he became interested. 

This could be good for us.

We're starting small.  Like, one day at a time, small.

But you know what?

I did it.  I went the whole day, and the one time my voice got to a 4 level, I quickly reigned it in, took a breath, and started over.

And it was AMAZING.

But not yelling wasn't the only part of it.  I had to let go, too.  I had to let go of the need to control what my kids were or weren't doing.  I had to remember that they're kids.  One of them is barely considered more than a baby.  Cabin Boy #1 was the toughest.  Being nearly 4, he's picked up on my 'start yelling if someone doesn't do what I want' habit, and that's going to be a tough war to wage.  It will be so worth it though.

Because I got to say goodnight to my kids tonight without the guilt of things I said in anger, or things I yelled about, hanging over me, marking me as a less-than mom.  Less-than I want to be.  Less-than I should be.

Today, I didn't yell.  And I will strive to do the same tomorrow.  Because my kids deserve more than the less-than mom, and so do I.



Monday, June 24, 2013

My house smells like a sex toy. I swear, it's not what you think.

You know those romance parties?  Groups of ladies gather together to giggle over naughty euphemisms and freely discuss their sexuality, while snacking on suggestively shaped foods and perusing the latest and greatest pleasure enhancing products out there.

I've been to a couple.

They're totally fun.

No, the Captain and I don't NEED anything to enhance our bedroom relationship, but sometimes it's fun to try something new, even if it is a different scented massage oil.

I've brought a few things home from these parties.  Mostly door or game prizes (Who can suck the candy off a Blow Pop the fastest?  This chick.) and a few small purchases, like lube and whatnot.

Things that were used once or twice and promptly forgotten about in my bedside table.

Until now.

When the nearly 2 year old Cabin Boy #2 went perusing through our bedroom drawers while I was cooking dinner and the Captain was showering off his softball game.

For some reason he has a fascination with lotions lately.  Leave the toothpaste within his reach and he'll squeeze half the tube out in a heartbeat:
Or, he'll scale the changing table to get to the diaper cream:



Apparently, Strawberry Cheesecake Massage Cream is no exception.

Upon Captain's arrival to the bedroom from the bathroom, he discovered it:


On my laptop
Our comforter
The floor
The bedside table
The dresser
CB2's face
The stairway wall
The stair rail


But NOT, ironically, on any of our 'toys.'

If dinner hadn't been ready right at the moment of discovery, it would have been an early bath time.

As it stands, we had dinner while CB2, Captain, and I all smelled very strongly of intimate cream.

Cabin Girl thought it was lovely.

And now I'm hoping the Captain will take my pleas to replace our bedroom door handle more seriously.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

First Dinner, Preparations, and First Full Day- Returning to GF/Paleo

If you missed the preface post to this one, you can read it here: Double Whammy.

So, you're all caught up on WHY I'm returning to a gluten-free/Paleo/Primal lifestyle.

Here's how we're getting started.

Thankfully, I've kept quality meats at the top of my grocery priority list, even at my laziest.  We have grass-fed, organic beef, free-range chicken, and a bit of wild caught fish in the freezer along with a few cuts of pork and loads of uncured breakfast meat like bacon and chicken sausage.

I had plans to roast a chicken to go with the fettuccine alfredo I was craving like mad, so I had a thawed chicken in the fridge when I learned that my switch to gluten-free had to be immediate.  Scrounging around the cupboards, I found rice, organic crushed tomatoes, and canned coconut milk.  CREAMY CURRY TIME (recipe will be at the end of the post)!

We already use olive oil, butter, lard, or coconut oil to cook everything, so that's not going to be a hard switch.  I made our grocery list after dinner, keeping in mind what we have discovered works for our family and what doesn't, and hit the road.

I happily took my time perusing the shelves for what I wanted.  As I was leaving, this happened...

Going from what I brought home and what we already have, this is the plan for the next few days (all of it is gluten free and as much as possible is organic).

  • (Alongside my coffee with coconut hazelnut creamer) Breakfasts will consist of:
Gluten free steel cut oats once or twice a week
Eggs with veggies (either broccoli or kale) and bacon/sausage most mornings
Hard boiled eggs on lazy mornings (read: mornings I don't have to cook Captain's post-workout breakfast)
On weekends I'll make Paleo pancakes or waffles
  • Lunches:
Leftovers from dinner
Tomato soup
Tuna/chicken salad with kraut and cucumbers
Hard boiled eggs with salad or black olives
  • Snacks:
Fruit
Nuts
Kettle Brand potato chips (Kettle Brand, NOT Lay's Kettle; non-GMO is important!)
Homebrewed kombucha
  • Dinners:
Spaghetti with meaty marinara and salad (from my garden!)
Beef with roasted red potatoes and beets
Roast chicken with lentil soup
  • Treats:
Greek yogurt with pecans and Enjoy Life chocolate chips
Almond shortbread cookies
Silk Dark Chocolate Almond Milk

It's important to note that during the first few days of a dietary change, your body will rebel.  HARD.  I feel like I am starving today, so I'm allowing myself to eat as much as my body thinks it needs, even if it's trying to trick me.  I'm also drinking copious amounts of water to help flush as much gunk out of my system as possible.

Today, I had:
  • Water with my cranberry and spirulina supplements.
  • Coffee with coconut creamer and 2 hard boiled eggs.
  • Water.
  • Water.
  • Cookie.
  • Water.
Lunch: leftover roasted chicken breast, half an avocado, and a handful of black olives.
  • Water.
  • Kettle chips.
  • About 8 oz. kombucha
  • Water. 
  • Water.
  • Greek yogurt with pecans and chocolate chips.
  • Water.
  • The leavings of the kids' mango.
  • Water, water, water.
  • GF spaghetti with meaty marinara and salad greens from our garden with a touch of dressing.
  • Water.
  • Chocolate almond milk.
  • And more water.
Yes, I had lots of treats today and not many veggies.  No, I'm not worried about it.  Like I said above, my body is rebelling against the changes I'm making and I'm doing what I can to cope with alternatives.  I'm hoping all this water will not only flush out some of those SAD toxins, but help me deal with the allergies that are making me want to claw my eyes out right now, too.

  Now, on to the SUPER easy curry recipe!!

Sautee diced onion in coconut oil in a large pan.  Add diced zucchini.  Season generously with curry seasoning, paprika, garlic, and salt.  Add cans of coconut milk/cream and 12 oz. crushed tomatoes.  Simmer until it begins to thicken, then add half of the roasted chicken (I do exactly half, mixing white and dark meat), torn into bite sized pieces.  Let it simmer a few more minutes, taste to decide if it needs more curry or tomato, then serve on top of steamed rice or riced cauliflower!  If you can, steam your rice in half water and half chicken broth for a flavor AND nutrient bonus.  The best thing about this recipe is you can add whatever veggies you want to customize it to your family's tastes.  I LOVE sweet potatoes and cauliflower in my curry, but the Pirate Crew does NOT.  We also like this recipe without the tomatoes, and we add large chunks of bell peppers to the onions.  It is great the night of, but I love it even more reheated a day or two later!
 

Don't forget to clean the other half of the chicken and keep the meat for leftovers or tomorrow's dinner and SAVE THAT CARCASS, drippings, and giblets to make some chicken broth!

Dump all of those chicken remains (skin and everything!) into a crockpot, dice up an onion (carrots and celery tops are great, too) to toss in, cover with water, and let simmer on low for at least 12 hours.  This stuff is gut health GOLD!
If you try the curry, please let me know what you think! 

Double Whammy; The news that shook me out of my SAD diet stupor.

Being pregnant is hard.  Being food conscious is hard, too.  Being pregnant AND food conscious?  SUCKS.

My body has been craving simple carbs like mad.  Know what's full of simple carbs?  Crap.  Conventional, boxed, overly processed CRAP.  In a battle between hormones, sciatic pain, pelvic pain, and food cravings, the cravings are the easiest to take care of.

So instead of being our usual 80/20 selves (80% Primal, 20% not Primal but mostly clean with an occasional cheat thrown in), we've been more along the lines of 50/50 (50% crap, 50% whatever healthy thing I can manage to scrounge together).

The kids and Captain are LOVING it.  We've had crackers and cookies, bread for sandwiches, noodles and rolls with dinner, and take-out and fast food MUCH more than I am willing to admit.

I've been struggling.  Feeling guilty about allowing my family to eat this junk, feeding my family this junk, and every night I resolve to do better the next day.  Then, the next day rolls around and it's the same story.

Until yesterday.

**History break.  During each of my pregnancies my blood platelet count has dropped low.  Low enough that I hemorrhage after delivery and need intervention in the form of a clotting injection.   Anything less than 100 can cause extra delivery complications.



Yesterday my platelet count came back much lower than it has previously been at this stage in my other pregnancies; at 29 weeks my count is at 105.  Group F Strep was also found in my urine samples, meaning I have a urinary tract infection; not from e Coli, as most are, but from strep, pointing to an imbalance in my gut flora.

Low platelets AND a UTI.  Fun.

My doula picked the brains of a few colleagues and informed me that there are some inconclusive studies out there linking gluten to low platelet counts during pregnancy.  There are also a few connections between chlorella consumption and increased platelet count.  

So begins an experiment.  I'm officially going back to a strictly gluten-free diet, and at the same time falling back into a mostly Paleo lifestyle, with the exception of rice, red potatoes, and quinoa for simple carbs and Greek yogurt for extra protein and probiotics.  I'm also taking an spirulina supplement for chlorella and cranberry extract, to see if it helps my UTI in conjunction with focusing on gut healing foods.

In the spirit of camaraderie, I thought I'd share what we're eating the first few days of our re-adjustment, in case there are others out there needing some easy ideas, or a sympathetic ear.

If you live a gluten-free, Paleo/Primal, or clean eating lifestyle, what revelation(s) made you start?  Have you had any stops and restarts?

Check back tomorrow for the next post, which will include a curry recipe, meal plan ideas, and preparations for the first few days.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Reflection: When molehills become mountains and learning to be grateful.

We've all heard it.  "Don't make mountains out of molehills."  It's a great idea, in theory.  But when you're in a moment of frustration and there are nothing but molehills in your path, it becomes almost impossible to see how you will get around the next one.

Last night was, possibly, my worst night ever as a parent.  And it's all thanks to too many molehills.


Captain spent the evening in Urgent Care Thursday night for headache/jaw pain.  It was frustrating, but we got through it fine.  The kids were fed, bathed, and into bed by the time he got home with a diagnosis of tic douloureux (pronounced tick doo-la-roo, which we've been saying a lot because it's kind of fun) and some hefty pain meds.  Friday morning I made a to-do list for myself (I had plans to be productive) and he decided to take a half day so he could manage the pain better without being medicated at work (electricity and sleepy pills?  Not a good combo).  Upon hearing his plans I decided to surprise Cabin Girl with an early day out of school and a movie date.  Then, he mentioned that some work friends were having a ping pong and beer gathering after work and he wanted to go.  Uhm... okay, I guess.  He never does stuff like that so I couldn't say No.

Fast-forward to coming home after the movie and the t.v. was on, the living room had exploded, Cabin Boy #1 was naked because he'd apparently wet his pants, though Captain wasn't sure where or when, Cabin Boy #2 hadn't been fed or changed in 'a while,' and Captain was looking at me through bleary, not-quite-teary eyes.  Despite him not feeling well enough to completely take care of the kids, he was still planning on going to the pong party.  "I won't be gone too long."  Oohhkay.


Things pretty much went to hell immediately.

While I went to the laundry room to get CB1 clean undies, someone went into their room and tore apart a book.  I went up to clean up the book and, upon taking it to the bathroom trash, discovered pee ALL OVER the toilet and surrounding area.  As I was cleaning up the goodness-knows-how-long-it's-been-there pee, CB2 brought me the cold, soaked pair of undies CB1 had stashed somewhere from earlier.  Cue beginning of shit-losing.  I charged CB1 with putting the dirty undies in the laundry room where dirty clothes go.  After I finished cleaning the bathroom I came downstairs to find Cabin Girl dancing around the dining table, the cloth stripped and laying on the floor with numerous scattered dirty dishes. "[CB2] did it."  Cue mommy tears.  I instruct CG to grab the table cloth and follow me to the laundry room.  On the way, I discover CB1's wet undies on. my. craft chair.  Cue beginning of anxiety attack.  I switched out the laundry and went into my room to scream into my pillows and hyperventilate a few minutes.  Add 'change sheets' to the to-do list, since now I've gotten mascara all over everything (why do I even bother wearing makeup?!).  I text Captain and my best friend, one to inform that it was in everyone's best interest that he come home, and the other just to vent.  Captain informs me that he's in the middle of a "little" tournament, but will be home as soon as it's done and hopes 'things improve' for me.  I head downstairs to finally figure out dinner (which is now an hour later than the kids are used to) and discover all the couch cushions and blankets have been thrown amidst the dirty dishes that still haven't been picked up, except a precious few that were relocated to the shoe closet in the entry.


It's like Scary Mommy was in my house last night.

This is the point where I decided I couldn't leave any child alone in any room for any amount of time for the rest of the evening.  So instead of making gluten free pizza, which we had all the ingredients for, I ordered from our favorite, local pizza place (while CB2 followed me SCREAMING) and turned on a movie.  While we waited the precious 30 minutes for our very late dinner to arrive, I grabbed a tote and started throwing toys in until I could fit all the living room toys into 1 big basket and 3 small ones (during which CB2 kept snagging toys from the tote and throwing them into the fireplace).  Instead of bathing the boys, I wiped them off with a washcloth.  CB2 went to bed just fine, but there was no getting the big kids to cooperate without daddy there to tuck in/snuggle/say goodnight (which I informed Captain of, but he never responded), so we watched the movie until CB1 passed out.  I let CG sleep with me until Captain came home (2 hours after he had informed me of the "little" tournament he was in) smelling like beer and fun.

At least he had the sense not to try to touch me once he got into bed.

So here we are this morning.  Captain is gone, working a scheduled overtime shift.  We need the money if we're ever going to have enough for a big down payment come the time we decide to move.  The kids are in the same fantastic mood they were in last night, so we're all gathered in the living room where I can keep an eye on the destruction they're causing.  I just want to shower, or go read a book somewhere quiet, or go make something wholesome for breakfast without fear of something being broken.

I can see these molehills.  I know they are trivial in the scheme of things.  First-world problems, if you will.  We will be getting out of the house in a little while.  They boys will get to play under someone else's supervision while CG dances with her ballet troupe for 2 hours.  I will shower at the park facility, knit, and hopefully get some socialization with other parents.  We'll probably get sandwiches from the Subway that's in the building, so I can avoiding a screaming fit of hunger from one or all of the kids.  We may go to a park to run out as much energy as possible afterwards.  We'll come home and I will lament at the amount of things I didn't get done yesterday, because I was focused on cleaning the path of destruction my kids made.  I will take a deep breath and get done what I can.


I will let my kids see me cry, if it comes to that again, because they need to know that sometimes Mommy gets upset and frustrated, too.  I will show them how they can help me, and pray that they enjoy the feeling of accomplishment more than they like the atmosphere of destruction.  We will get ready for CG to have a sleepover tonight and hope against hope that Captain comes home at a decent hour.  We will show him how much we enjoy his company and how much we appreciate what he does for us. 

Because the lesson I've taken from this is that it's Captain that keeps my molehills from becoming mountains; Sometimes with his help, but mostly with his presence.  It's days like yesterday that remind me that, though it's easy to be bitter, everything is better when we decide to be grateful instead.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

20 toothless toddler Paleo/Primal friendly snacks

Cabin Boy #2 is 19 months old and has 6 teeth.  SIX. 



What do you feed a child that wants what everyone else is having but can't chew it all?!  Especially when what we're having for snacks is stuff like raw veggies, dehydrated fruits and meats, and nuts and seeds?


Now I know that gums are hard enough for kids to be able to mash up most foods, but CB2's front teeth are sharp enough to get big chunks off of things like carrot sticks, and, let's face it, some things are just too tough to eat without molars.

Through the interwebs (read: Pinterest) and our family's experience I've come up with a handy-dandy list; all of these are Cabin Kid approved.

Raisins/Dried fruit- Give them a mini-box of raisins and you've given them a snack AND a task.  Win-win.

Avocados- My boys go nutso over this mushy, green, healthy fat and nutrient packed food (Why do we give our kids fat, you ask?  Check out some of the reasons here and here)

Soft fruits- Melons, grapes, berries, etc.  If you get canned fruit (the Cabin Kids love mandarin oranges) check to make sure it's canned in fruit juice, not syrup.

Tomatoes- Slices or wedges, if your kids can handle nightshades, are great for little fingers.  Halved cherry or grape tomatoes are great, too.

Apple/Pear slices- Without the skin; CB2 just spits it out and leaves it in random corners anyway. Pair them with:

Nut butters*- Almond butter is a favorite in our house, but I know lots of people love Sunflower seed butter, too; or

Cheese- We're just venturing away from processed string cheese and into the world of raw dairy.  I've found an amazing medium cheddar that is soft and Oh-so tasty from a local farm at our health food store.

Olives- Unfortunately, my kids only like black olives thus far.  But, it's another plant based fat that my kids go gaga over.  Plus, see if they can get an olive on each finger and, TA-DA, another task!

Bananas- The Cabin Kids would eat bananas all day long if I let them.  Whole, sliced with almond butter, dehydrated, doesn't matter.  Say banana and they go ape-shit (see what I did there? *snort*). I know bananas should be with the 'Soft fruit,' but my kids love them so much, in so many ways, that I thought they deserved their own spot.

Fruit leathers- Pour some unsweetened applesauce on a dehydrator tray, let it run for 12 hours or so and, VOILA, you have fruit leather.  CB1 can chew it, while CB2 enjoys sucking on it.  As his saliva works its magic, the fruit is slightly rehydrated and easier for him to eat.  There are a few good brands out there without added sugars and preservatives but I really encourage you to try your own.  We have lots of frozen plum puree that we've added in several times, and berries would make an awesome addition, too.

Larabars- Again, I encourage you to make your own.  It's super easy (if you have a food processor) and way cheaper than $1 per bar if you have a place you can get almonds, raisins, and dates in bulk.  Just use a 1:1:1 ratio on your nuts, dried fruit, and dates, pulse until all crushed/combined, then press into a lined pan and chill, cut, and wrap.  The ground nuts are small enough for toothless kiddos to manage easily, and the dried fruits hold it all together.

Fruit and yogurt- Frozen raspberries in a little bowl of yogurt that they can stir on their own is ridiculously exciting.  I mean, RIDICULOUSLY.  They love watching the yogurt slowly turn pink from the thawing raspberry juice and always exclaim when they get a chunk of cold fruit.  If your kids can handle dairy, this is a great snack for a quiet afternoon at home (where you can have a washcloth handy).

Applesauce- Another one you should have a napkin handy for. 

Pickles- Crunchy on the outside, but soft enough inside for those gums to get the job done.  We prefer baby dills, since they're little hand friendly and don't pose as big of a choking hazard.

Uncured deli meats- Roll them up with some cheese, mashed avocado, or a Paleo/Primal friendly tapenade.

Hard boiled eggs- Because, duh.  We love eggs.  Slice them if you think your little one's hands may not be able to handle a slippery sphere.

Pepperoni sticks- We have a great uncured brand available locally.  I have to snip the tough ends off for the boys and bite CB2s to break the casing a bit for him, but they love them.  As do Captain and I.

Baked goodies-  A quick Google search will reveal loads of recipes for quick and easy Paleo/Primal baked treats.  Paleo Parents has a great Anytime Cookie recipe in their book, Eat Like a Dinosaur (which I recommend for any full or partial Paleo family), that you can customize with your kids' favorite dried fruits and nuts.  Just make sure you watch the natural sugars in some of the recipes you may come across.  Even though they're healthier than conventional baked goods, a treat is still a treat and should be given in moderation.

Smoothies- Full fat coconut milk, some nut butter, a piece of fruit, and a handful of spinach.  Who doesn't love a green smoothie?!  Customizable with endless possibilities.

Frozen fruit pops- Blend up your favorite fruit combination and freeze it in a popsicle mold.  Perfect for a lazy, hot afternoon, or a special picnic on the kitchen floor treat.  Plus, no dyes, additives, or surprise ingredients!  Add some coconut milk for an extra punch of good fats, or some spinach for a sneaky bit of veggies!


Do your kids have a favorite snack?


*We avoid peanut butter/peanuts mostly because the Cabin Boys are mildly allergic to it.  Some great info on why you should consider avoiding peanuts and peanut butter can be found here and here.

Monday, March 4, 2013

Pinterest Inspired Valentines: Salt Dough Ornaments (with link to tutorial)

Aren't these ornaments from On Clever Mode cute?!

Since we started eliminating sugars wherever we can, the idea of handing out dyed and processed goodies for Valentine's Day just doesn't appeal to me.  Between Cabin Girl and Cabin Boy #1, we needed nearly 40 Valentines.  These salt dough ornaments were just the thing and one batch was more than enough


NAILED IT!

We hope everyone had a wonderful Valentine's Day!

Friday, February 22, 2013

The Painful Secret About Being Mom.

This mom-cage I live in is terrifying.  Beautiful, maddening, breathtaking, disastrous, hilarious, chaotic... terrifying. 

How can I be so lucky and feel so deprived?  Am I spoiled?  Do I just not understand how good I've got it?

When you can't go into the bookstore with your children, not only because you don't have the energy, but just KNOWING what a task it will be takes all the fun out of the idea.  When the people in a fast food drive through start to recognize you because your only escape is strapping the kids in their seats and driving until everyone either passes out or claims they're starving.  When a room is finally clean after an hour of hard work and distractive play for a whole 5 seconds only to be destroyed when you turn around to tackle the next task. 

When you look upon your husband's job... the long hours, the coworkers, the inclimate weather, the problem solving, the danger... with envy, and you resent him the 30-45 minutes he gets alone in the bathroom to wash off the day before facing a pregnant wife and 3 children who NEED his attention.  Because he was outside.  He got to interact with others.  He feeds us tiny morsels of what life is like in the real world on a daily basis because he's THERE.  He's IN IT.  

When you feel guilty for making plans out of the house 2 nights in a row.  When a Dr. appointment and parenting class elicit such feelings of bliss that it shakes you to your core.  'Please let the Dr. be running behind so I have an extra 10 minutes to stare out this window with nothing but my thoughts.' 

Oh Mother, is this what I sound like now? 

When you've become so sucked into the lives of these tiny people that need everything from you that you lose yourself.  You are a cup and they take gulp after gulp after gulp out of you, never able to quench their thirst, rarely, and sometimes never, giving you time to refill.  After a time you begin to stop offering yourself as a cup.  An empty vessel is not useful if it does not have something to carry within it.

What can I fill my cup with?  What do I like to do?  What music do I like?  Is there a new book I could read?  When did I stop knowing everything about myself?

Is this really who I've become?

I came across this today and it is what sparked these musings:



Which begs the question:

How do you choose?  And, once you have chosen, how do you go about spending more time with these idyllic people without scaring them away?  I would certainly be wary of a woman saying, "Hi, I admire you and want to share qualities x, y, and z of yours.  Here's my cell, Facebook page, e-mail address, and Twitter handle.  Can we start spending every Wednesday afternoon together?!"

Yes.  I have become like a child.  A toddler, even.  Socially awkward.  Demanding.  Prone to fits and tantrums.  Clueless and lost and just hoping someone will come along that's willing to entertain me, spend time with me, understand me... for just a minute.  Wait, please, 1 more?  Where are you going..?

Am I the only one?

Easy Peasy Gluten Free Lunch: 6-Toothed Toddler Approved!




Peeled, shredded zucchini in scrambled eggs, served with organic ketchup and avocado on a corn tortilla.

Notice how the tortilla ended up, veritably untouched, on the table?


This one demanded seconds.  His tortilla also ended up being cast aside.
I happened to like my eggs wrapped up nicely in the tortilla.  And they never noticed the zucchini.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Quick and Dirty: How much screen time can you eliminate?

I got SO SICK of seeing nothing but the back of Captain's head this weekend.  90% of our family time is spent with him on the computer or his smart phone, while the kids watch a movie, and I read a book or putter around the house.

Being totally honest, during the week, that's what my kids see of me.  


Oh. My. Goddess.  

What have I been doing?!  What am I teaching them?!

This week I will be turning the computer off at 8 a.m. (excepting today, since I got a late start after Cabin Boy #3 gave us a rough night; today I will turn this thing off as soon as this post is done).  It will not be turned back on until 7:30 p.m., when we have a post-bath pre-story dance party with the kids.  The t.v. will not come on until Cabin Girl gets home from school so I can have 30-60 minutes of dinner prep and homework help time with her.  The e-reader and smart phone will only be used for music or actual phone stuff.

I'm not sure what we'll do come the weekend, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

Wish me luck!



It's funny, it's true, it's sad.


How much screen time can you eliminate from your house?



Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Experiment! A pledge to my children.

For a long time we've I've struggled with maintaining a healthy lifestyle.  Captain doesn't care one way or another, as he doesn't seem to have health issues related to the type and amounts of food he eats.  The kids and I, on the other hand, do have issues.  Gut issues, skin issues, behavioral issues...  Issues that I've been in and out of denial about.  Issues that, because of this first trimester exhaustion, I just haven't been up to the task of facing.

I have to remind myself that these issues only make my days more difficult.  That feeling good is just as important as getting enough rest right now.  That if what I'm eating is making me feel like crap, what is it doing to the little bodies of my children, and the one that's currently incubating?  I'm constantly wondering if my pregnancy nutrition with the first 3 Cabin kids is the baseline for all the issues they have with allergies and digestion now.

So I've come up with a pledge to my children, and my experiment will be to stick with it, for as long as possible, and check in occasionally with how we're all doing and feeling.




What would you add to the pledge?  Will you make it to your family with me?

Monday, February 11, 2013

The lazy mom: This century's brand of feminism?

This is a subject that's been preying on my consciousness for a while.

While I totally agree that being June Cleaver is hardly the norm, nor should it be expected of women today, I feel like we're quickly sliding in the opposite direction.  Blogs about how few meals are cooked at home,  social media posts about drinking while kids are entertained by a screen, not giving a crap about a house that hasn't been vacuumed in months, contests to see who has the messiest house on the internet (which I voted on, because, let's face it, I need a handheld vacuum) are no longer few and far between, they're everywhere, and people LOVE them.

What with working parents, single parents, work from home parents, grandparents raising their grandkids, there is definitely a lot of redefining regarding the traditional household going on, which I TOTALLY support. 

BUT, with the stress of work, the economy, slipping school standards, public services being cut, should our rallying cry really be, "The standards of my home don't mean anything anymore, either!"?

I'm not perfect in the least.  I've never been tidy, organized, or a sparkly clean person in general.  I like sitting on the couch watching tv.  I like playing video games.  I like having fun instead of doing chores.  Our clean laundry sits in the basket for days.  Captain has pretty much taken over doing dishes, because it's something I just can't seem to get a handle on doing.  But I owe my kids more than being a lazy mom that won't show them how nice a home can be.

What happened to teaching our children pride in a job well done?  What better place to start than showing them that the accomplishment of having a dining table has a clean cloth, a swept floor, and knowing a space is usable without fear of stepping in a day-old dollop of yogurt is a feeling worth working for?  Why not show them that a home cooked meal that the whole family sits down to enjoy together is really where it's at; Not getting 8,000 'likes' on a status regarding having mac'n'cheese with your wine for the 5th night in a row.

I am guilty.  We all, at some point, are.  But let's leave it to the occasional "I do this sometimes, too.  You are not alone and it's okay," instead of something that all the cool kids are doing.  Let's stop the trend of  vilifying the parents that manage to maintain a clean house, cook their family's meals from scratch, and play with their kids outside.  Let's stop before the 'Super Mom' that used to be an awe inspiring term just makes other parents snicker with derision.

We're better than this.  Let's teach our kids that, too.

Friday, February 8, 2013

I may be an ass, but you will always think twice about carseat safety now.

Car seat safety.  

It's like the 'shoe shopping' talk of parenthood.  Someone mentions the new standards and people start to gaze off into the distance dreaming of things like dancing cats.

But it's SERIOUS, people.

Oh sure, "I grew up laying in the back window of my parents' station wagon, and I'm fine!"  

Or, "We drove home from the hospital with you on my lap in the passenger seat!"

Yes.  Yes, I know.  But today, in so many ways, is so, SO frighteningly different.  The food we eat, access to television, the internet, cell phones, and travel are all so different.  Standards are constantly being updated and changed for a reason!  Yes, it's hard to keep it all straight, and it's another huge worry point that a lot of parents, especially first time parents, tend to overlook.

The reason for this post:

I saw a picture on FB today of a friend's 15 month old in his carseat and the FIRST thing I noticed was that he had a winter jacket on underneath the harness.  Okay.  It's not SO bad, as long as you snug up the harness, right?  Except, the clip was crooked, visibly below armpit level.  And, he was forward facing.  And, oh man, is that the rear latch strap going across the seat next to it to the other side of the headrest to clip in?  

Usually, I let other peoples' parenting choices be just that; other peoples' choices.  But I couldn't this time.  Mother help me, I just COULDN'T say nothing and leave it to chance that he might be okay should they get in an accident.  So I sent my friend a message. 

Now, when his wife was in labor, I sent him a few helpful tips that I wish someone would have shared with Captain or I during our first labor and delivery.  I specifically said, in one way or another, 'You can totally tell me to stuff it if you don't want anymore unsolicited advice from me,' but he seemed pretty happy to have the information.  We've known each other since grade school and have an easy enough rapport that I'm confident he'll tell me when he doesn't want my advice or opinion.

I just hope he took my concerned message to heart.  Even if it makes me look like an ass by pointing out all the things he was doing wrong with his son and he unfriends me, or whatever, at least now he'll think twice about it whenever he buckles that sweet little boy into his car seat.

The 2012 Guidelines for carseat safety are here but they can be changed and updated at any time!

Have you ever spoken up when you noticed a child's safety in question?